Homeschooling Dad: Teacher or Discipler?

- By Steve Murphy

As the homeschooling movement has flourished in the past fifteen years, the challenges we face have changed with us. Like our sanctification, just as we get something down, God gives us the next lesson. We are again humbled to realize that this is going to take a lifetime. Over the years homeschoolers have struggled with legality, criticism from extended family, criticism from the church, and an overwhelming array of curriculum choices, just to name a few. It seems there is always something to struggle over. While many of us will continue to face each of these to one extent or another, there is a new difficulty to answer. It is the question, "How does Dad fit into all of this?"

Homeschooling dads come in every shape and size. From financier to principal, from disinterested observer to active participant, they shuffle beside wife and teacher at the conventions, not quite in, not quite out, unclear on the part they play. As a homeschooling father of eight and a business owner, I am not interested in adding anything else to my plate. But that's just it. Unless we adopt the world's view of "schooling," educating our children isn't another thing to add to our plates. So what does God's Word teach us about Dad's role in homeschooling?

In the Murphy household there has been a steady decrease of stress and pressure over the last few years as we have come to realize that while God charges us to work heartily as unto the Lord in all that we do, we are not required by God to follow the example of the government schools, reaching for its goals, or using its methods. In fact, quite the opposite is true. As an obedient Christian, I'm required by God to follow His example and strive for His goals for the education of, or using scriptural terminology, the discipleship of my children.

Dads, when God placed Adam in the garden and gave the first wife, Eve, as a helpmeet, He told them to be fruitful, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over every living thing. Praise God with me for helpers who are suitable for us, wives who were drawn from our side to stand by our side, who seek to know our vision for our families, and then help us in it. There is no better helper in the teaching (discipling) of our children.

Later He commanded Moses, in Deuteronomy 6, to tell God's people that they should teach these things diligently to their children and should talk of them when they sit in their house, and when they walk by the way, when they lie down, and when they rise. We are slow to believe that this passage has anything to do with school, and to be fair it really doesn't, but it has everything to do with the discipleship of our children as it occurs every day, all day long.

So the answer to the question "Homeschooling Dad: Teacher or Discipler?" is similar to the answer I give when asked if I want blueberry pie or apple pie, and that is, "Yes!" We are both and both are one. Whether we think we have the time or gifting for either, the role God has designed for us is to be the primary discipler (teacher) of our children.

The question always comes up, "What about the single homeschooling mom?" God addressed this matter in His Word speaking of widows and orphans. The responsibility of providing for and discipling (educating) the children of the husbandless mother falls directly on the shoulders of the Church. When the Church is ready for "true religion," it will take seriously the need to provide for and disciple (educate) not only the widow but also the orphans.

For an insightful explanation of Dad's role and our goals in the discipling of our children, read the wonderful work of Dr. R.C. Sproul, Jr., When You Rise Up. And then read A Biblical Home Education by Ruth Beechick. These will drive home the truths from God's word and, by God's grace, drive out the creeping enculturation.

Steve and his wife, Kara, live with their eight children on a 50-acre mini farm in the southwest corner of the state. He is the publisher of Homeschooling Today magazine (https://homeschooltoday.com). Steve is offering $4 off the price of the magazine for HEAV members. Please stop by the HEAV booth to pick up a sample copy and to get your coupon.