The “Three-Faced” Father

- By Stan John

Fathering like the FATHER...and the SON...and the SPIRIT

You can not spend much time with Del Tackett, author of Focus on the Family's The Truth Project, without having him answer your questions, or advise you to determine what is true, by "looking into the face of God." It is in His presence that we discover His nature, His word, and His design for all of life. It was one of these times, as I was preparing a presentation on leadership for a group of businessmen in China, that I came face to face(s) with the Triune God of the Bible. Let's take a tour together into God's revelation of the character of a leader, as that is the role of a husband and dad. Let's look to Him and see how being a biblical dad is to be a "three-faced" dad.

We all know what it means to be "two-faced," and I am not suggesting that as fathers and husbands we expand on that. I am simply referring to God's revelation of His nature in the Trinity--three distinct persons (God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit), and yet one. Considering Him and how He leads His creation will give us the best model for our own leadership at home, in the church, or in the workplace. When we lead well, we can also expect those who were led to go and do likewise. So, with that as our goal, let's look into the face of God.

God reveals Himself as three persons: 1) the FATHER--the absolute authority of creation, 2) the SON (Christ)--His personal (physical) presence to His creation, and 3) the HOLY SPIRIT--the invisible coach/mentor of His creation. In these three persons we find all the essentials of excellent leadership. Let's review them one at a time and consider the application of what we learn to our leadership in the home.

GOD THE FATHER

The mission and vision for creation lives here. It is also in this role that policy is set and enforced. We discover the Father as the lawgiver and judge of all creation. He impartially judges violations and failures, redeems and restores, rewards obedience, and grants greater responsibility. This is the role that defines the team roles and responsibilities, as well as the "brand" (name/character) of the family. He provides security (hope) while encouraging healthy risk taking (faith). Finally, He does this all in and through His nature of love, taking the "sting" out of authority by demonstrating all things are for the good of those He leads.

Let's consider the practical application of this role in the home. First, as the authority of the home, it is the father who must set the mission and vision for the family. What are the family goals and objectives? How will they be attained? What are the attributes the family will be known by (brand/name)? Next, it is the fulfillment of this role that requires the establishment of the laws of behavior in the family, the impartial judging of violations, and the rewarding of performance with a heart that desires the best for all. In this role you accept full responsibility for the results and outcomes of the family. You direct the environment with predictable stability where the "what and why" of rules and decisions are understood and consistent. In summary, this role is all about values definition, goal setting, decision making, encouragement, and accountability.

GOD THE SON

This is the second "face of leadership," Jesus Christ. I like to refer to this revelation of God as the Personal Presence. He came to earth to join in with His creation to "do" rather than just "tell." He enters the place where the work is done, physically joins in, and aids the success of those in His care. In a word, He acts in a manner to redeem the situation for good. Jesus came in humility and demonstrated obedience to all the Father has created and commanded. He joined in and took the full burden of failure (sin) and identified with those He calls His own. He became one of us, so he could show us the way to eternal success.

In like manner, our application of this role in the home demands our physical presence. We need to "be there," available and undistracted from those we are called to lead. We need to first submit ourselves to the family rules and values, demonstrating our own obedience to the standards of the family, as well as how they are practically applied. We need to show the faith required to stand firm, as well as the creativity to solve the problems encountered without compromise. As fathers in this role, we need to join in and get dirty. We often say that morals are caught more often than taught. Physical example is also the best vehicle for training in any skill or discipline. The simple sequence of watch as I do then do as I watch allows much to be accomplished and the apprentice learns to be like the master. As such, this leadership role leads the "team" through the diagnosis and solution process in a way to assure understanding and personal identification with the solution. In summary, this role serves the functions of problem solving, team/individual development, communication, and instruction.

GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT

I like to call this "face of God" the invisible coach and mentor. The scripture refers to the Holy Spirit as the Paraclete. This Greek word refers to one who consoles, one who intercedes on our behalf, a comforter or an advocate. He inspires and encourages, as well as reminds us of the mission, laws, and expectations for our actions. He is the conduit for raising issues before the Father with utterances too deep for words. He is accessible and available at all times, while assuring personal and confidential care. The Holy Spirit comes along side, leading us to "success" without leaving "fingerprints." In return, we glorify the Father by making his invisible attributes visible before men.

Following His example as we lead in our homes, it is our role to come alongside, coaching, inspiring, reminding, convicting, and encouraging those that are ours to godly success in their life. We need to be accessible and available to those who need us. That means turning off the media, ignoring the phone, or skipping a game of golf. Like the Holy Spirit, we must not "give up" and lose confidence, but rather persist and intercede on their behalf. As we respect confidentiality in our relationship, and coach in private, we can expect loyalty in return. In summary, this role is about influence, motivation, conviction, and promotion. It is done in a manner that we are transparent to the success of the one we serve. What an awesome thought that the God of the universe does this for us.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, I realize I have just described the PERFECT DAD (leader). I am certain none of us "walk on water," so what are we to do? First, we must honestly and prayerfully identify our strengths and our weaknesses. Once again, we can do this by comparing ourselves with the standard bearer, Jesus Christ. Next we can seek out and surround ourselves with other sincere men who are gifted where we are lacking. Allow them to show you how to perform, and imitate them to adequacy, teaching them in return those abilities God has given you. When you make mistakes, admit them quickly and openly and you will be less likely to repeat them. Determine to learn from them and share with others what you have discovered. And finally, make your goal in life the success of those you have been called to lead. If you truly love them, to do less would simply be two-faced. They will love their three-faced dad in return, and they will be more certain of seeing HIS face for eternity!

Stan John, a homeschooling father of four, has been at Focus on the Family for 24 years where he currently serves as the senior vice president of global ministry development. Stan has trained hundreds of homeschool families to be the hosts of Focus on the Family's The Truth Project, a comprehensive biblical worldview study for small groups. His vision is to see the homeschool movement re-establish a "Culture of Family" in our nation, producing health in struggling communities and churches.

Come hear Stan John at the 2010 Virginia Homeschool Convention!